It might go something like this:
Dear Michael:
As far as I know, I'm retired. (Not!) No, seriously, bro, I'm just down here watching Oprah, cutting grass, mending fences. I spend more time at Home Depot than Bob Vila. Call me if you want to play catch.
Dear Brett:
They got me under house arrest here in Hampton for two months; all I can say is: Thank God for Tyler Perry's House of Payne. TBS, man, very funny. Anyway, they fitted me with an electronic monitor -- I think the government's making me wear it, but it might be my fiancée Kijafa's doing.
Dear Michael:
Looked in the mirror today and said to myself, "You are retired." (Not!) Sure, I have a partially torn biceps muscle, but like I was telling my agent, Bus Cook -- I can throw spectacular interceptions with or without a good arm. Hell, it's not as if lives are at stake, I'm just putting some fans in the stands; hopefully, they're all wearing Wranglers.
Dear Brett:
People wonder if I still got pep in my step. I got a one-word answer for that: Sure do! Heck, Martha Stewart came out of prison better than ever, so did O.J. Simpson and Nelson Mandela. I'm under 30 and my legs are fresh -- at Leavenworth, I had a desk job in the prison laundry. Hey, I can still run from here to the bank; by the way, can you help me with endorsements?
Dear Michael:
I just told Bus -- you keep telling them I'm fishin' in Mississippi, I'll keep driving the jeep to the Twin Cities.
Dear Brett:
For show, I'm starting a $10-an-hour construction job next week. This one I'm mailing in -- they'd have to add a zero to that hourly wage before Michael Vick does any heavy lifting.
Dear Michael:
Didn't we have a ball in that Packers-Falcons playoff game Jan. 4, 2003? Well, you had a ball -- you owe me one, buddy.
Dear Brett:
The commissioner says I have to show remorse. What, the NFL moved its offices from New York City to Vatican City? I did some bad [expletive] with dogs, but there are a whole lot of players in this league that do some bad [expletive] with people every single week. How come they don't have to go kiss Roger Goodell's royal butt?
Dear Michael:
My throwing shoulder's getting worse, but the bottom line is -- Deanna wants me OUT OF THE HOUSE. Trust me, bro: I could be in a full body cast come September and I will still be in a Vikings uniform, chucking it. P.S. I hate to sound cold, but if I'm Tarvaris Jackson or Sage Rosenfels, I'd be practicing how to hold a clipboard.
Dear Brett:
You know, I was in the joint for only 18 months, and when I get out, Madden and Jay Leno are gone? Dang.
Dear Michael:
You just reminded me -- I wonder if it's too late to get on the cover of Madden NFL 10.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
What is Galveston like Now? After Ike
Sometimes you have to get away from everything and forget about your troubles for a while. This Memorial Day Weekend I thought I would do just that and like most Americans head to a large body of water. My choice Galveston Island.
Just a little back story I wasted a lot of my youth on that Island. I've slept out in the sand so many times I can't remember! My first memory was camping on Stewart beach with my mom and cousins at five years old. You can't even put tents on that beach anymore! Even though my mother would think it was funny to put a bloody t-bone necklace on me and tell me to go play with the nice big fish with the dorsal fins. I survived and was a tougher manchild for it. As a teenager my friends and I would head down there parent-free every chance we got looking for some debauchery. As an adult I haven't been back that much. The stars aliened just right and this weekend was get away time.
I have heard different things about Galveston since Hurricane Ike hit. It hasn't even been a year yet! I couldn't believe it! Driving across the bay bridge on 45 I noticed nice new decor letting you know you were in Galveston,Texas. Then I hit the Island and notice so many homes still sit in ruins. There was a massive amount of garbage still in piles on the side of the roads. As I cruised around the island looking for my hotel at first I thought this might be a mistake, I was wrong.
After I checked in to the Hotel it was time to really see the Island and what Ike had did. Quick side note I stayed the Harbor House at Pier 21 and it is a first class place. You are not on the SeaWall but it's worth the three minute drive to get there to stay here. Two Thumbs up to the great service and staff at the Harbor House!
The first place I wanted to see was the Seawall. I drove up and down the beachfront street and was shocked. The Balinese Room Pier was gone. The Flagship Hotel still stood but it was sporting battle scars. You could still see furniture in a room of the hotel through a hole ripped in the side of the massive building over the gulf. Anything that was on the Seawall and went out in to the water was gone. It was obvious the "storm of the century" had destroyed the old Seawall.
Traffic was light on Friday and the Beach wasn't crowded. Strange for a Holiday weekend. I don't know if this is due to the economy or people being scared of what the island might look like. The first noticeable positive difference was Friday Night. There were families walking around the Seawall and playing at midnight. All I can tell you is ten years ago if you were on the Seawall after midnight you were up to no good. For example if I was on the Seawall I was buying pot, or underage drinking,or huffing gasoline out of plastic bags you get the picture. I sure didn't see families out riding bikes and kids out playing at night! This was a great sign of what the Island is trying to do. As a grown up I loved to see this and all the cops out cruising the streets. I spent all hours on the beach this past weekend and never one time did I not feel safe.
Crystal Beach is THE PARTY Beach of The Texas Coast. Suckers go to Mustang Island. Crystal Beach was family oriented this weekend as well. Lots of families camping. Some rebel rousers and hell raisers out there too trying to keep it old school but nothing like the Crystal Beach I remember . For example I lost my virginity to a harry man named Buba after a night of X back in 8o. Yes I was only two years old but it was a wild time in my life. Now Crystal Beach has became the perfect place to wind down a day of play on the island. It's one of the few beaches you can still drink on. It's not girls gone wild crazy like it use to be. Now it's just a good time! However I was a witness to a guy getting a DWI for acting like a jack ass on his golf cart on Crystal Beach this weekend. True Story! They brought a flatbed wrecker out to the beach and everything.
The Crab Hunting was great this weekend too. My overall record for the weekends night beach safaris was 22 jelly fish, six blue crabs(insert pubic lice joke here), and a Texas rockbottom lobster that i got into a nasty sword fight with using a plastic shovel. EnGuard you little red devil! I won and got that little s.o.b into my manly pink plastic pale! Who cares if he was only three inches long(that's what she said)
Traffic only got bad on Sunday. In my past experiences Galveston has been jammed from the day before a holiday weekend to the day after. There was not to many people on the island but enough to keep it festive. Even though I made a few jokes in this blog Galveston has dealt with a very serious situation and dealt with it well. You still see the evidence of Ike everywhere you look. The bums and lowlifes seem to have vanisished or drowned. The scum is gone and good riddance ! The night beach life is safe again.
Galveston is still healing from the devasation. It will never be the same . I think this change is for the better. Five years from now when the rubles gone and the houses are rebuilt or demolished I hope the town stays this clean and friendly. Bottom line Galveston right now at this moment post Ike is a great get a way destanation! Take a weekend and hit up before the Summer of 09 is over!
PS Mom payback is a bitch! I can't wait to take you to the beach throw you out of your wheel chair and throw chex mix on top you and watch the sea gulls go to town. I mean Mom do you have plans for the fourth of July? How does a nice family vacation sound? Yes I forgot all about the T-Bone necklace
Just a little back story I wasted a lot of my youth on that Island. I've slept out in the sand so many times I can't remember! My first memory was camping on Stewart beach with my mom and cousins at five years old. You can't even put tents on that beach anymore! Even though my mother would think it was funny to put a bloody t-bone necklace on me and tell me to go play with the nice big fish with the dorsal fins. I survived and was a tougher manchild for it. As a teenager my friends and I would head down there parent-free every chance we got looking for some debauchery. As an adult I haven't been back that much. The stars aliened just right and this weekend was get away time.
I have heard different things about Galveston since Hurricane Ike hit. It hasn't even been a year yet! I couldn't believe it! Driving across the bay bridge on 45 I noticed nice new decor letting you know you were in Galveston,Texas. Then I hit the Island and notice so many homes still sit in ruins. There was a massive amount of garbage still in piles on the side of the roads. As I cruised around the island looking for my hotel at first I thought this might be a mistake, I was wrong.
After I checked in to the Hotel it was time to really see the Island and what Ike had did. Quick side note I stayed the Harbor House at Pier 21 and it is a first class place. You are not on the SeaWall but it's worth the three minute drive to get there to stay here. Two Thumbs up to the great service and staff at the Harbor House!
The first place I wanted to see was the Seawall. I drove up and down the beachfront street and was shocked. The Balinese Room Pier was gone. The Flagship Hotel still stood but it was sporting battle scars. You could still see furniture in a room of the hotel through a hole ripped in the side of the massive building over the gulf. Anything that was on the Seawall and went out in to the water was gone. It was obvious the "storm of the century" had destroyed the old Seawall.
Traffic was light on Friday and the Beach wasn't crowded. Strange for a Holiday weekend. I don't know if this is due to the economy or people being scared of what the island might look like. The first noticeable positive difference was Friday Night. There were families walking around the Seawall and playing at midnight. All I can tell you is ten years ago if you were on the Seawall after midnight you were up to no good. For example if I was on the Seawall I was buying pot, or underage drinking,or huffing gasoline out of plastic bags you get the picture. I sure didn't see families out riding bikes and kids out playing at night! This was a great sign of what the Island is trying to do. As a grown up I loved to see this and all the cops out cruising the streets. I spent all hours on the beach this past weekend and never one time did I not feel safe.
Crystal Beach is THE PARTY Beach of The Texas Coast. Suckers go to Mustang Island. Crystal Beach was family oriented this weekend as well. Lots of families camping. Some rebel rousers and hell raisers out there too trying to keep it old school but nothing like the Crystal Beach I remember . For example I lost my virginity to a harry man named Buba after a night of X back in 8o. Yes I was only two years old but it was a wild time in my life. Now Crystal Beach has became the perfect place to wind down a day of play on the island. It's one of the few beaches you can still drink on. It's not girls gone wild crazy like it use to be. Now it's just a good time! However I was a witness to a guy getting a DWI for acting like a jack ass on his golf cart on Crystal Beach this weekend. True Story! They brought a flatbed wrecker out to the beach and everything.
The Crab Hunting was great this weekend too. My overall record for the weekends night beach safaris was 22 jelly fish, six blue crabs(insert pubic lice joke here), and a Texas rockbottom lobster that i got into a nasty sword fight with using a plastic shovel. EnGuard you little red devil! I won and got that little s.o.b into my manly pink plastic pale! Who cares if he was only three inches long(that's what she said)
Traffic only got bad on Sunday. In my past experiences Galveston has been jammed from the day before a holiday weekend to the day after. There was not to many people on the island but enough to keep it festive. Even though I made a few jokes in this blog Galveston has dealt with a very serious situation and dealt with it well. You still see the evidence of Ike everywhere you look. The bums and lowlifes seem to have vanisished or drowned. The scum is gone and good riddance ! The night beach life is safe again.
Galveston is still healing from the devasation. It will never be the same . I think this change is for the better. Five years from now when the rubles gone and the houses are rebuilt or demolished I hope the town stays this clean and friendly. Bottom line Galveston right now at this moment post Ike is a great get a way destanation! Take a weekend and hit up before the Summer of 09 is over!
PS Mom payback is a bitch! I can't wait to take you to the beach throw you out of your wheel chair and throw chex mix on top you and watch the sea gulls go to town. I mean Mom do you have plans for the fourth of July? How does a nice family vacation sound? Yes I forgot all about the T-Bone necklace
Monday, May 4, 2009
Hi my name is Larry and I'm a Kyle Bush Fan
I know it's not popular to say. I may even have to change my name and join the witness protection program. But my name is Larry Stanley and I'm a KYLE BUSH FAN!
Everyone hates this kid but the bottom line is Nascar has had a need for a Kyle Bush for years. He's Nascar version of a heel(heel-A bad guy in the wrestling world). The fans boo him and he eats it up. Even his post race celebration where he bows to the crowds is another way to antagonize the mindless sheep that despise him. (mindless sheep- A Dale JR fan)
Kyle Bush walks the walk and talks the talk. Bush is young,cocky and the best racer to hit nascar since Jeff Gordon. Don't believe me? Here's some Bush quotes
"He's the only driver I know who can go three-wide all by himself...He's hoppin' around down there like a little league shortstop." - Darrell Waltrip
"That's the way dad raced and Kyle has that same style—very aggressive." - Dale Earnhardt Jr. (May 8, 2008)
"You think I'm a pretty good race car driver? Wait until you see my brother. He's the best driver in the family." - Kurt Busch (2001)
I would like to draw the mindless sheep's attention to the middle quote. Junior says he drives just like his daddy. So why Boo the guy? Why not cheer him on? Because he's honest.
"I'm not out there to be No. 1," Busch said. "We all know who No. 1 is and forever will be."
That's Dale Earnhardt Jr.
"I go out there to win races, to be No. 1 on the racetrack," Busch said. "That's where I feel like I win, where my benefit is.
"For me, I don't think I would enjoy having the most fans out there. I actually like the way I am, the role I portray. And I think that there's probably too much pressure on one guy's shoulders who doesn't seem to win very often.
Kyle Bush gets booed because he's good. He is a talented young aggressive driver that is fun to watch. He's not Matt Kenseth out there racing for 10th place every week. He's out there to win and win he does. Does he have some growing up to do? Sure! Does he deserve all the hate? No! Has he found his place in this world as the Nascar AntiChrist? Yes!
As I pick up the phone to call security to guard my front door let me ask you a question. Who is the better race car driver? The guy who got his car because of his last name or the guy that earned it?
Larry Stanley
BigBadSportsDaddy.com
Everyone hates this kid but the bottom line is Nascar has had a need for a Kyle Bush for years. He's Nascar version of a heel(heel-A bad guy in the wrestling world). The fans boo him and he eats it up. Even his post race celebration where he bows to the crowds is another way to antagonize the mindless sheep that despise him. (mindless sheep- A Dale JR fan)
Kyle Bush walks the walk and talks the talk. Bush is young,cocky and the best racer to hit nascar since Jeff Gordon. Don't believe me? Here's some Bush quotes
"He's the only driver I know who can go three-wide all by himself...He's hoppin' around down there like a little league shortstop." - Darrell Waltrip
"That's the way dad raced and Kyle has that same style—very aggressive." - Dale Earnhardt Jr. (May 8, 2008)
"You think I'm a pretty good race car driver? Wait until you see my brother. He's the best driver in the family." - Kurt Busch (2001)
I would like to draw the mindless sheep's attention to the middle quote. Junior says he drives just like his daddy. So why Boo the guy? Why not cheer him on? Because he's honest.
"I'm not out there to be No. 1," Busch said. "We all know who No. 1 is and forever will be."
That's Dale Earnhardt Jr.
"I go out there to win races, to be No. 1 on the racetrack," Busch said. "That's where I feel like I win, where my benefit is.
"For me, I don't think I would enjoy having the most fans out there. I actually like the way I am, the role I portray. And I think that there's probably too much pressure on one guy's shoulders who doesn't seem to win very often.
Kyle Bush gets booed because he's good. He is a talented young aggressive driver that is fun to watch. He's not Matt Kenseth out there racing for 10th place every week. He's out there to win and win he does. Does he have some growing up to do? Sure! Does he deserve all the hate? No! Has he found his place in this world as the Nascar AntiChrist? Yes!
As I pick up the phone to call security to guard my front door let me ask you a question. Who is the better race car driver? The guy who got his car because of his last name or the guy that earned it?
Larry Stanley
BigBadSportsDaddy.com
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