Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Nelson Games

The Golfers are coming! The Golfers are coming! You know that May in Las Colinas means “Nelson time,” The Byron Nelson that is. Are you ready for a shocker? Big Bad Sports Daddy HATES golf! We seriously hate it! It’s not a sport at all! It’s boring to watch and even more boring to play – simply put, it’s just an overall nuisance for most of the year; however, I do get fired up for The Nelson! Why you might ask? The Pavilion Games - that’s why. Since you have been reading my columns you kinda coulda guessed that, right?
And I know I am not alone. For most people, the Nelson has never been about the golf anyway. It’s all about The Pavilion Party. The place to “Make the Seen” as theBurb says it.
When you hang out in the Pavilion all day you’re going to come across some down time. Here are some games my friends and I play when we get bored at The Nelson:




1) Exotic Dancer Hunter: You and your buddies all bet a drink on who can find the first lovely entertainer. Then one by one you pick out a girl that you think might shake it for a living and go ask her if she is a Stripper! Warning: This game has resulted in many slaps to the face.
2) Obnoxious Drunk Guy Toss: There is no shortage of drunken loud guys in the Pavilion. You and your friends all pick your lush and see who gets asked to leave the premises first.
And NEW for this years’ 2010 Byron Nelson Classic:
3) Has she (Exotic Dancer among others) seen Tiger Woods Naked? This game is much like Exotic Dancer Hunter except instead of asking the girl if she is a dancer, you simply ask her:
“Have you ever seen Tiger Woods naked?” Then you email me and tell me what kind of reactions you got.
Now go and pretend you like golf for a few

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Whoops I forgot

“I forgot to call the Bullpen and get Feliz up” is what Ron Washington said after the Rangers extra inning loss to the A’s on Tuesday night. That statement alone should be enough to get him fired and ran out of town but it won’t.


Ron not getting Feliz could be the biggest mistake in Dallas Sports since The Duck not paying me for our draft day bet! He’s been avoiding me for 3 weeks now. Where is my m-effn money?



Now back to Ron “Whitelady” Washington. It seems that our baseball manager isn’t really focused on baseball. How in the hell do you forget to call the bullpen and get your closer up when you are playing for first place in the West? Ron what are you doing while you are supposed to be managing our Texas Rangers? I guess you don’t need to worry about your job since no one knows who owns the team right now anyways. Huh Ron? Nolan why are you putting up with this?


Like I said earlier this year this Ranger team is going no where! They lack the heart and leadership it takes to play deep into October. Sorry Ranger fan! Hey Rangers please stay competitive until the Cowboys start training camp.

Speaking of the Cowboys Wade Phillips is an idiot too! I never thought Jerry would ever hire a coach that made me wish for Barry Switzer back, but he did. Wade is a good Defensive Coordinator and horrible head coach.

Jerry your ego is getting in the way of the Cowboys going to the Super Bowl. Mr. Jones let me mess you up with some truth! You with Jimmy 3 Super Bowls in four years. Yes I am counting the Switzer win too because Howdy Dowdy could of coached that team to a Super Bowl win. You in 15 years with out Jimmy 0 Super Bowls. Jerry you are an egotistical DBAG! You are ruining football for the city of Dallas! Get over yourself and go get a real coach.

We were Cowboys fans before you got here and we will be Cowboys fans long after your gone! Do us a favor and step back and let a true football guy run our team. Jerry if you get bored we have an opening in our fantasy football money league. Would love to have you come play with us.


Sound off it’s Larry@bigbadsportsdaddy.com

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Stun his ASS

How many Days since the draft? The Duck man still hasn’t paid me! Duck don’t make me send my boy Stu after you!



Last week in my blog I went off on your Texas Rangers. Since I did that those guys went on one hell of a winning streak! I bash you win get it Rangers? The 2010 Texas Rangers Suck!


Now let’s move on to the story of the week. This 18 year old kid in Philly decided it was a good idea to take a jog around the field during a Phillies-Cards game. This maybe the worst move in baseball since The Rangers traded Kevin Millwood for Chris Rey. This is retarded!

The kicker is the dumb ass called his dad and asked for permission to run on the field. “Hey pops I am thinking about running onto the field”. His dad told him it was a bad idea, but you know teenagers! So he hit the outfield grass and got his ass tased.


Why is everyone so up in arms about this? The bleeding hearts are screaming that the police used excessive force. I and everyone else with any common sense think he got what he deserved! Do you remember a couple of years back when some father and son white trash hillbillies decided to hop the fence and take some hacks on the Royals first base coach? When fans take it to the field it is a dangerous situation.


We live in crazy world and Police are hired to serve and protect. No one knows what the kid’s intentions were when he hit the field. Even though in this case they may have been innocent enough no one knows that. He could have had a knife or something worst. There is no reason as fan you should ever go on to the field! It’s not cute, funny, cool or impressive to anyone. You are not going to get laid because a girl saw you getting tackled like a bitch on a baseball field. There is no reason for it all! Delaying the game is disrespectful to every fan in the stands. Anyone who does do it gets the title of King DBAG for life.


As a guy who has made some drunken bad decision in my life taking a trot on to a major league stadium is not one of them. If I ever do shot my ass with your taser gun! There is no need or excuse for it. I think MLB should make it a rule if you interrupt our games by hoping on the field you get tased!!!


larry@bigbadsportsdaddy.com