The majestic pony thoroughbreds are getting ready again to run in that Kentucky Derby! There’s nothing like the thrill of standing on the start/finish line at your local track, yelling your lungs out and watching your trifecta get blown down the backstretch.
In case you are thinking about taking a date out to Derby Day Let me give you this warning: DO NOT TAKE YOUR GIRLFRIENDS with you to the track! Send them out with their girl friends for a girl’s night, but I repeat, DO NOT take them with you! I know it sounds like a good idea on paper, but don’t be a sucker! Here are some real life examples of what could happen to you, if you did choose to bring them.
When I was dating a young Texas lady named Leigh, about a month into the relationship we decided to go to Lone Star Park(our local spot). It was a gorgeous Saturday in May and my wager tickets were on fire! I couldn’t lose! I picked 5 winners in a row and hit two trifectas. Well, my new female friend was bored after the 5th race and wanted to go eat somewhere else. I tried to explain to her, you don’t walk away from the track on a hot streak like the one I was on and, not only that, Lone Star has great food. Unfortunately, she wasn’t buying what I was selling and after a bit of protest from me, we left. (And guys we all know why I gave in). She took me from a “can’t lose situation” to a “can’t win one in less time than it takes to run the Kentucky Derby.” She ruined my hot streak, my day, and our relationship the minute she got “bored”!
Then there was the “Courtney’s father’s incident.” Courtney decided I should meet her father for the first time at the track. This was not one of her best ideas and agreeing to this certainly wasn’t one of mine. I won’t go into all the details of what went wrong, but Courtney and I rode to the track together and she rode home with her dad. Another one bites the dust!
Heather talked me out of betting $300 on a great 5-1 that actually won! Then I told Heather I needed some time and space.
Amber said it was too hot. (Um, then I told Amber that we could just be friends.)
Melissa joined PETA after an evening at the track with me. She didn’t understand what I meant when I said “They need to send that Horse to the Glue Factory.” After I explained to her what that meant, she was not a happy ‘Lissa.
As fun as Derby Day or a Day at the track can be, it IS hazardous to relationships. Get it? You’ve been warned!
No comments:
Post a Comment