Can't We All just get Along?

I have just one question to ask you…and that is ‘Can’t we all just get along’? What is going on around here with all this arguing and bickering? I mean come on…this is ridiculous! Nolan Ryan and Chuck Greenberg, Dez Bryant and North Park Security, Larry Stanley and Andrea at the Italian Café, and most importantly the NFL Owners and their Players!
It is spring and I should be writing about your American League Champions Texas Rangers, but I am not. The thought of a fall season without the NFL frightens me way too much to focus on baseball! Hey Mayans…how is it possible that you can predict the end of the world in 2012, but not this NFL work stoppage? Advanced Civilization my (explicative)!
Has this possibility actually sunk in with anyone yet? Think about it for a minute…fall with no NFL! That means no fantasy football! So what now? Are we supposed to play fantasy football with the UFL Players? Ha…good luck with that! The words “I will take J. P Losman with my first round pick” should never come out of anyone’s pie hole as far as I’m concerned.
Did you know that without the NFL we are heading for a repeat of the great depression in the here and now? True story! I mean really think hard about no football…that means less pizza and wing deliveries. Less pizza and wing deliveries means some pizza places will have close down. This will start a chain reaction that could ruin the American economy for eternity. Do you get the picture now?
This entire mess could easily be avoided if the players and owners would read the following statement very carefully:

Dear NFL Players,
You are acting like spoiled brats! Quit being greedy little s-o-b’s. You are getting paid millions of dollars to play a game. If you really think you are being treated unfairly, go get a real job! Let me know how that works out for you. This may bruise your ego just a bit, but you are totally replaceable. Do you feel that? Did it hurt? That’s pride messing with you! Just shut up and play!

Dear NFL Owners,
You do understand that if these guys don’t play you get $0 right? Nothing, Zero, Nada! Figure it out! Those mortgage payments are still going to have to be paid somehow on those big beautiful stadiums…even if they are empty. What’s worst? Is it giving up a little extra to the guys who make your product, or getting $0? Yeah, that’s what I thought! So let’s get this deal done and over with!

Next month, I really hope I can just lay back and relax knowing that there is a new CBA worked out between the owners and their players. Then maybe next time I could write about your Texas Rangers! But, I doubt it.