Sitting at work Monday afternoon I got a surprise call from my friend Duck. Our mutual friend had an extra ticket for the big Western Conference showdown between The Mavs and The Nuggets that night! The instructions were clear meet him at Big Mike Wallace's place at 6:30 for the 7:30 tip. Done and Done!
I was excited! One of the best things about catching a live sporting event is the food! My personal favorites are hot dogs and nachos! On the ride over to big Mike's I had made up my mind his was going to be a Hot Dog Monday. I meet the crew at Mike's trendy townhouse in The Cedars neighborhood of Dallas right at 6:30. Our Mavs crew for the evening was going to be Big Mike Wallace,his girlfriend Gracie,his college buddy Wasiff, The Duck and myself. Two beers and some NCAA bracket conversation later we had figured out our riding situation. Mike Gracie and Wasiff would take one car and Duck and I would take his jeep.
On the way over to the AAC my stomach started growling and i realized I haven't had anything but a salad to eat that day. It was as if The Duck read my mind when he said "I'm starving!". "Me too and I have to piss really bad!" I guess slamming those to beers at Mike's had consequences.
On the two mile long trek up to The American Airlines Center from the $10 parking lot we passed the time we chatter about what a pain in the ass it would be to live by the AAC on game nights. If you ordered a Pizza it would take two hours to get there! As we passed a street musician belting out jazz notes on his sax Big Mike reached in his pocket a threw him his spare change. Finally after fifteen minutes we reached the pearly gates of Victory Park and were ready to take in some Mavs ball!
As we entered like any sporting event the lines for concessions were way to long for me to even think about bothering with. First thing was first I had to find the nearest restroom and go empty the bladder. It was a little tough fighting through the crowd but it was a successful mission.
Smelling the food as I walked down the crowded hall back to my seat only made the hungry pains worst. No way was I getting in one of those lines and missing the tip though. I did pass a lonely beer vendor selling his product in between section and picked up a Bud Light. (shameless plug for our friends at Ben E Keith). That solved that problem.
The game started off great! The Mavs jumped off to a big lead and were out hustling the Nuggets! The crowd was lively and energetic! It seemed like the first quarter went by in no time. With two minutes left in said quarter my beer was empty and I was ready to eat the ass end out of a menstruating whale. Time to check the lines! When I made the walk up the stairs and turned the corner I knew I was good! Foot Long hot dog here I come!
Waiting behind the two people in front of me the number one combo kept jumping out. It was two beers,garlic parmesan fries and foot longer for $24. Anywhere else this would seem ridiculous but sporting event prices and my growing hunger pains made it look fair to me! At around 8pm I was handed my combo and life was good or so I thought. I had a foot long chili cheese dog in hand that could use some work.
I then turned my attention to the condiment cart located behind the State Fair concessions stand where I just purchased my grub. I had to do a little balancing act with two beers a foot long chili dog and some fries on a tray that wouldn't hold a chicken nugget but I made it work. I got to the cart with out an incident. Then I added ketchup to the fries and mustard to the dog. Next it was time for some onions and last but not least jalapenos. I know you are thinking it might be strange that I eat jalapenos on my dogs but I do. It's a Texas Thing deal with it! The bigger issue was there were not freaking jalapenos on the Cart! WTF?(shameless plug # 2 Read Steph's WTF blog here on BBSD on Fridays)
I had to have jalapenos on my dog! I ask the guy working at the Beer cart next to me where I can get some. He went to ask some one in concessions. He came back and told me "We are out of Jalapenos". I thought to myself about hitting him in the jaw for saying such a dreadful thing but quickly thought better of it. "How can you run out of jalapenos?" I asked. To which he replied"I think he just doesn't feel like looking for them". Even better shitty customer service at a sporting event! Great! "You can go downstairs and check on one" he said. I said "Thank You" but I was thinking something else! Go to one! Go to one! It was a miracle I made it back this far without dropping the tray or spilling a beer!
I begrudgingly made my way back to my seat with out God's peppers on my dog! It didn't matter to me that Dirk was on his way to a triple double or The Mavs were blowing out The Nuggets and close to locking up the two seed in the West. Hell it didn't even matter to me the cute girl behind me was talking about being lonely and single and having big boobs. This night to me would always be the night The AAC ran out of Jalapenos!.
Send your mail to
larry@bigbadsportsdaddy.com
PS
I got the big boob lonely cute single girl's number! Her name is Laura and she's from Forney!!! YEE HAWW!!!!
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